Promises in the dark

I need a break
My heart is putting logic at stake
I'm taking chances
breaking rules
and making fatal mistakes
All I want is to find that peace within my heart
But the only way to find it
Is for us to part
and the way I guess I see it is I love you too much
Life, although I'm grateful
Has a terrible clutch
The black night, it takes away the memories we keep
But it can't hold back the dreams I have when I'm asleep
I'm at the entrance to a tunnel
There you stand at the end
I try to step toward you but something steps in
It holds me back
and tells me, I'd better turn around
I look behind me for an exit
But there's none to be found
In a way it's love that's holding me
I don't want to be free
And if its love that's blinding me
I don't want to see
All I want to see is you
Please tell me, is that okay
All I want to see is you
And I can't stand the delay
Everyone has an opinion
I don't care what they say
Because when time tells me what time it is
I'll put it away
I'll pack my thoughts up
And later on, my feelings will drift
When you stop, that's when I'll stop
But damn, I'm needing that lift
Time shifts
and in turn, it makes us different people
If I move on I'm advising you, there will not be an equal
To the love I have for you my soul is bare and I am see-through
But dilemma has me boxed
And the choices are not my options
And you have me where you want
You're the key and I am locked in
So I wither away, wishing dearly I had your heart
Instead I'm stuck with your shadow
And your promises in the dark

Who'd have thought, an hour and a half
Would equal the equivalent of one million miles
So long and stretched out
That even our voices cannot overcome the distance
So far away
That even our love cannot withstand the absence
So separate
That even our bodies cannot bridge the gap
What's the point of tugging a chain that stretches
a mile long...
if there is nothing at the end?
Communication dies first
Distance is a state of mind

Black Men

Black men sitting on porches
Watching the sun escape
a dark, misty bed of trees
Holding their newspapers
Laughing and giving pounds
Smelling like cigars and soap
Listening to Anita Baker
Until the sun escapes the sky
Sinking back into the dark bed of land
And their women come back from a
long day of work

"I usually rhyme"
I say crossing my legs and uncrossing them
My insides dance, restless
"You know what I mean?"
Who knows what I mean?
Does anyone know what I mean?
...no
The faces I see are usually stone and hard to read
And I don't mind, because I'm used to guessing
Most times, I'm right
Sometimes
And they laugh and frowns fly across their brows
And I disguise the truth in an analogy
in an example
Because truth straight up tastes nasty
but it makes more sense
And then my brow creases, but I am obvious
So simple that I am hard to read
And easy to dismiss
And then I cross my legs
and close my eyes and think
I usually rhyme, just not today

Unborn Child

In quiet contemplation, I imagine the
Screaming, crying, and whining
Cute giggles and laughs
Over-sized heads and stumbling feet waddling through hallways looking at me
Looking like me
Dimpled, sticky fingers reach for cups and toys
Needing help, needing love, needing food, needing discipline
Needing clothes, needing sleep, needing attention, needing affection, needing me, needing us, needing patience, needing a man, needing a woman, needing a mini-van, needing a schedule...
Making me cook, making me clean, making me stay in my career, in my relationship, in my home, making me repeat myself, making me fall in love, making me wince, making me complain, making me worry, making me brag, making me into my mother
I give birth to my own heart, beating and thumping
wrapped up inside baby fat and smooth skin
I watch my own heart fall down and get up
Anticipating a world of soft pillows and lullabyes
Beaten into submission by a world that isn't "mommy"
I watch my heart walking around on this earth, without me
At the mercy of two blinking eyes
That have stretched out my skin and stretched out my breasts
Crows walk across the corners of my eyes
Greying out my follicles
Wrapped in soft teddy bear blankets and warmth
I watch my heart sleep, dreaming of me
and I dream of it, not today
But forever tomorrow

Secret Thoughts

I left
but I was never gone
I walk the walk
I sing the song
And when I'm here, I blend right in
My soul rests somewhere
Over the horizon

Over the plains
under a rock
In a sunny valley
Dancing on waves in a river
Splashing my feet in the warm mud
Sending my voice into the breeze

I yawn
most times from lack of sleep
I curse
"Shit, damnit...bleep, bleep, bleep!"
Sift through papers
Check my mail
I'm late again
My insides yell
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I'm gone
To that special paradise
Available to no one
Taken captive by the playful whispers
Of my own thoughts

Some people say the end is near
Sometimes I think the end is here
But what's the end, I must insist
Would it mean the end of this?
The end of chaos, the end of pain
Who cares if it ends, this world is insane

And I close my eyes
Waiting for the day

Yes, I love you

I said

looking into his eyes

He stared with intensity into my eyes

Left to right, right to left, left to right, right to left

Almost forcing me to join his insanity

I said, I love you again to convince myself

as much as to convince him

and I did...

love him

But I did not need him

And he was not asking me to love him

He was asking me to need him and

I don't need anybody

Love is a blanket, keeping me warm
Love is a solid, safe haven in a storm
Love is a tree, bearing sweet ripe fruit
Infatuation is a salesman, in a fancy suit

Infatuation is the free gift, with the hidden fee
Infatuation is the lifestyle that you see on tv
Love is the goal, infatuation is the trap
Infatuation loves affection, but this love is what it lacks

Affection is the currency, accepted at a rate
Affection not accepted often turns into hate
Hate turns on the fighter, like a punch with no glove
Hate is cold and bitter because it wants to be loved

Love is so complex that it's confusing to most
Love is just so simple, that it's easy to boast
Love is not an accident, love is a choice
Love speaks loudly for itself
although it has no voice